Anytime you can take the starting PG from a 9-22 squad in a shitty Pac-12, you have to do it. Can’t miss talent!

In the second inning I remarked to my Dodgers fan friend that this game, which was only 1-0 at the time, was already an hour old, had a pitching change, and a pinch hitter. I did not realize how much worse it was going to get. I’m pretty sure there were at least 2300 strikeouts and 350 men left on base. Not to mention …

“It’s less about impressing women than it is ensuring that they are not profoundly horrified by you.”

This is serial killer behavior 

Does anyone really need two phones?

Plus you can be shitty at your job and not get fired!

He’d get picked off before he even got past Venus and taken back for a pick 6.

As a resident of Leafs country and a fan of the Oilers since I was a little kid in the 80's, I welcome this return to the “fuck it, let’s just score all the goals” brand of hockey. Give me all the 7-5 games.

Did he have the pencil in his ear though??

Gave you a star for the first truck, then took it away for the second.

I don’t watch MMA, don’t follow it at all other than skimming the occasional post here on Deadspin, and had never heard of this guy five minutes ago, but after watching that post-fight interview he’s now my favorite athlete.

I would like this post un-grayed by Thursday!

You’re right, “idiotically bigoted” would be much more accurate.  Happy?  

They have kids too, sadly.

But enough about the Brewers. 

Terrible username/profile pic/comment synergy. Get out of here with that. 

Why the hell were you trimming the most delicious part in the first place?  

I remember once, my kickboxing instructor took me to a bar, and made me dance with another man’s girlfriend. Well, he obviously did not take kindly to it, and I dance-fought with him and all his buddies. Was it a good idea? Certainly not. Did I learn a valuable lesson?

Wentz was broken for like a year. Been off the bench for five minutes and Philly fans are all like “WHY HAVEN’T WE WON THE SUPERBOWL YET? BRING ME FUCKTOMB 2!”.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."