“I’d rather go 0 for 30 than 0 for 9 because you go 0 for 9 that means you stopped shooting. That means you lost confidence.”

please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance please let it be Lance

“The coronation is over. The people of King’s Landing do not care about the Lannisters’ debts.”

You had so many good headline options, Samer.

Reporter: Can you describe how you felt when you were offered the scholarship and then when they rescinded it just two weeks before signing day?

In his defense, Cooley was a 19th century term of affection for Chinese and other Asian native laborers and is not an offensive thing to call a pro football bloviator. In support of this theory, here is an unverified e-mail from an actual 167-year-old Punjabi ditch-digger.

+1 gentle rapping at my chamber door

I await the Jim Irsay-John McAfee road trip movie.

Tom, I think convention dictates at least feigning concern when a billionaire drug addict goes missing.

I like Mark Sanchez too, but I wouldn’t go that far.

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

This isn’t a story about a guy being a dick, but I was once in a Taco Bell when Mike Holmgren walked in, studied the menu intently for two solid minutes, and then walked back out never having said a word. It was over ten years ago but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what the heck his internal monologue must have…

As a millennial I can assure you this is not a meme.

Another thing he might have forgotten: Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard.

The hint here for the Athletics is to get their shit together

“I Just Be Chilling There, Act Like I’m Not Doing Nothing”

And to a lesser extent Tiffany.

Old White Man Wants Things To Be The Way They Used To Be

“You have dealt with an unbelievable slanted and negative media and have come out beautifully” sounds 0% like something Bill Belichick would say, and 100% like something Donald Trump would say while reading a blank page he is pretending is a letter from Bill Belichick.

Argument for Paul Allen: