The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Looks like fall season has come early to Ohio.

Let me help you out a little with some new names:

+1 Casa de Fruta Stadium

Fully support this, though I’m surprised it took this long for Weezer to get a new frontman.

No shit, you googley-eyed moron!

Dombrowski looks like he’s moving on to his next project, waiting outside a dressing room to make sure Jackie Brown’s plan goes smoothly. 

STOP 👏 MAKING 👏 MODEST 👏 PROPOSALS 👏 THAT DON’T 👏 INVOLVE 👏 EATING 👏 IRISH 👏 BABIES

The real fingers were inside us all along. 

Nobody better slip a finger in my Fingerbutter.

Drew Magary Presents: Why Your Geolyph Sucks 2019!

If you’ve never been to a meeting, it helps, even if you don’t think you have a problem. I went to meetings once a week for two months and it changed my life. You don’t have to say anything and can just listen, and there are snacks.

They are the culinary Algonquin Round Tables of our modern American hegemony.

Cadillac has tunnel vision. They’re focused on chasing other brands, and ignoring their own customers.

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

“I used to have trouble getting it up, because of E.D.*”

The clip is only 57 seconds long, but the ball’s recording device recorded 18 hours of static while it was in right field.

Red red whine

*several molars crack*

A few years ago one of my cousins married a girl from Nashville. The night before the wedding - after driving around past old plantations all day - we go out for drinks on Broadway, and my only takeaway was that the women there were a perfect analogy to the city, the south, and frankly, the entire country: blonde…