Found out he’s an extra in the new Hellboy. Didn’t get invited to the wrap party.

That’s what he said.

First one off the lot?

That thing looks like it’s gonna haul a TON of Costco toilet paper.

Tax returns.

I can attest that some of the boneless parts of my body can tell exactly where they are thanks to the many neurons located therein.

My read is that they are basically done with Emily. It sounds like she grew up and they didn’t. They’ve been friends “since childhood” (I’m assuming that’s about 10 years) and don’t enjoy her company unless she ... eats something different? Maybe incredibly selfish, maybe incredibly superficial.

Hey, Ernie traded a first-round pick for Javaris Crittenton!

This app sounds like a win for me because the Touch Bar is currently wasted, garbage space. I don’t want to see the Dock all the time but keeping it off the screen might be a good solution.

If he wanted to raise money he should use a foundation of tortilla chips, and top it with jalapeño “barbed wire”. After a few hours in the sun he could sell all-you-can eat nachos!

If it’s unfit for human consumption, why does it cost $100 per block?

Yeah, that hurts. I pulled myself out of the Carpenters pile a while after that album. But I did change, for the better! And so did you! <whimpers> God bless us, every one!

1*

Not exonerated on obstruction of justice, but no evidence of collusion. Stunning.

I get you’re having a nice rant today, but simply providing social services doesn’t make socialism. There’s no overall trend of nationalizing industry or commerce in those nations. So, sorry.

Don’t be ridiculous. None of those nations are remotely socialist unless you’re Rand Paul.

Poor trolling, try harder next time.

Put the butter in a bowl of room-temperature water and it will be softened in 10 minutes.

Apropos of nothing ...

Did you want the room to be clean when you walked in the first time, or were you planning to pitch in and wash all the towels and sheets first thing? That’s the service.