This is humble brag bullshit.  You’re shopping for a fucking Dodge and you want us to think you’re too good for off the rack?

RIP scummy dealer guy.

“wow, it’s in great shape!”

Eat your heart out 11foot8 bridge.

We’re gonna need a smaller boat

Being a Russian ship, I expect we’ll have dash cam footage soon.

Are we not making the 1.5psi jokes anymore?

I would like to add one thing to your great write-up, partially because I just saw “Behind the Curve” last night, and I think a lot of people are missing the point of that doc. 

Oh, yeah, pardon me. I was only 696.5 Porsches off lol

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

Passenger bodywork delete: $13,097.66.

Seems like this is an update to the old way VW used to say “fuck you”:

It is a corvette because they will afix the logo to it.  The first one was a straight six.

I suspect you will also need to account for the upsidedown amount of the previous trade-in to fully appreciate how this loan go so underwater.

When you milk your customer base and don’t produce adequate results, you’ll get backlash and an uprising.

Alfa Romeo 4C or Guillia

Beyond the latest news, I purposefully seek out Tom’s articles. Even though I was in the biz, I’m still learning something new everyday. 

Thanks, Tom.  Yours is among the best content on Jalopnik.

when the dust settles, this comes out as an unconventional, yet effective way to avoid a conversation with jimmy fallon.

Tomorrow: “Sorry about those Down Syndrome comments, folks. I must have been on my period.”