But 2049 used visual effects to be emotionally impactful as opposed to monkey war. Noone in the academy watched the monkey war movie

As George Gobel would say, he’s the brown shoes and the rest of the world is a tuxedo.

We also live in the world where “Academy Award winner Kobe Bryant” is now a meaningful phrase.

Looking at those winners, I kind of get the feeling that the Academy threw up their hands and said “Fuck it, no matter what we do we’re gonna piss someone off, let’s just sprinkle around around wins in enough categories to make us look vaguely progressive but otherwise keep our heads down and go apolitical this year.”

I’m not sure if vote splitting is as much of a concern with cinematographers, but I have to wonder if that hurt his chances in 2007.

you can’t beat DelToro in the envelope game! ;)

Motherfucking Guillermo DelTorro made a genre film about a woman falling in love with a Fish God Best Picture! The man is a God among Nerds!

Since there isn’t a comment section on the live blog....

10 years overdue*. The train robbery in Assassination is to cinematography what the opening scene of Up is to emotional manipulation.

Pretty happy we’ll never see the words “Academy Award winner Kong: Skull Island”

I’m just happy that Deakins won. Love the guy’s work and he should have won it so many times. Yay Deakins!

I’m just happy that Deakins won. Love the guy’s work and he should have won it so many times. Yay Deakins!

Here comes the Best Picture envelope....and it’s Shape of Water! But NOT SO FAST YUGI, because that envelope also contains my Trap Card: Nefarious Accountant! It steals all the votes from the winning movie and gives them to another randomly selected 2017 film!

So congratulations to The Bye Bye Man for winning Best…

Kind of a bold choice to have the Shape of Water lady come up and fuck the fish live on stage. Although some people seem to really approve of the idea, judging from Donald Trump’s Twitter.

Awesome to see Roger Deakins finally win. The guy who shot Fargo (lost to The English Patient)*, and No Country For Old Men/Assassination of Jesse James (same year) gets a long deserved Oscar.

Whispering into a mic is now considered a vocal? This was weak sauce. Weak sauce, indeed.

FWIW, he’s been chasing a directing win for ages and his first win comes off writing a screenplay that someone else directs.

Willem Dafoe rushes the stage, yells, “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO PLEASE YOU PEOPLE?” and activates his Green Goblin bombs.

Scorecard so far: