“Stick is candy!”

“Stick to candy!”

rude of the email of the week to make me cry tbh.

Honestly if all of you just disappeared off the face of the earth, I probably wouldn’t even notice the dearth of bad takes. 

It’s been a huge pleasure being less funny than all of you for almost fourteen years now. In conclusion: go fuck yourselves, one and all.

Hi welcome to Deadspin Bob, I’ve been reading this site since 2007 every day and this is the way it’s always been here. It’s a great site because it’s not purely about sports. If you want a sports site, there are literally tens of thousands of them that will give you the fucking box score and some pithy postgame…

Waited until the final second, then nailed the 55 yarder. Well played.

Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.

I was there in April of this year. That dog from the pyramids has a name and it is Preztelcoatl. But you are correct that it is indeed a good dog.

This is the quality content I’m (genuinely) looking for. Let’s be real, the only time I read a sports story  is when you guys shit on the Browns because I feel validated as a disgruntled fan.

Tom, if this unfortunate situation continues, may we have bears? 

Can you let me know when you will be returning to sports coverage so I can go back to checking in once or twice per day? I have a lot to do today at work and all of these posts about non-sports topics are distracting because I Must Read Every Single One of Them. Whereas with the sports stuff I really only care if its…

David, I wish to register a complaint. You’ve filed this story to Politics, but this is erroneous, as this is clearly a Sports Story.

that is Very Fancy thank you for asking

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

Would like to take this opportunity to applaud the decision to link out to as many great non-sports stories as possible today:

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.