I would consider a cocaine dealer who promised me it would make me immune to sunburn to be too sketchy to buy from 

Might be worth it to escape Newark.

The result of the Neymar Sweepstakes could very well determine the next half-decade of European soccer.

Was it at least TB12 brand cocaine?

In her price range? These start at almost 30k. Not only that, it would be equipped with a 180 hp engine. The request is a crossover that doesn’t suck. Try again

If a CX3 is too loud she shouldn’t be looking a POS small crossovers and should buy a Camry. 

It is ‘shopped. But the actual truck has larger wheels and more lights.

When a troll and a dickhead fight, everybody loses. (See: McGregor v Mayweather)

Deadspin reached out to Fenech to ask about the incident and left multiple messages with the Astros. We will update if we hear back.

The Defenechstration of Houston

That kid's name? Lance Armstrong.

Brutal self own.

If you knew the backstory about how his dad walked out on him and his mom on Christmas Eve taking the families only baseball you would not think it was so heartwarming.  No son, your dad will not come back for this baseball.

I mean, if his parents brought him to a Royals - Orioles game, they obviously don’t love him. This is obviously a case of using the baseball as a substitute for the love he lacks from his parents.

Not as funny as a kicker named “Blewitt.”

looks like you picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue

Oh for fucks sake. I was going to just save all of my frustration to unleash on today’s Why Your Team Sucks (Bears) and then move on with my fucking life. Had a little plan to get some work done, think of a few things that have been gnawing at my soul since that fucking missed kick and then welcome all the “haha go…

I hope Nagy’s strategy works and they never miss another field goal, while finishing the season a robust 8-7-1.

Cool, I remember my first Phish concert.

How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?