Reds: [dramatic pause] I’m all in. [dramatically pushes chips forward]

Amir Garrett’s that friend you’re happy you have but you kind of wish wasn’t your friend.

Hire a courtroom sketch artist for the job.

You asked for trades!

How long do you think they kept a straight face when they told him he got traded to New York?

To be fair, though, ALL trail mix should have M&Ms. And no raisins.

It’s been a few years since I paid close attention to the NFL but I’m watching this thinking, “I don’t know why someone put him in at QB, but I guess he’s a pretty good pass rusher, he can probably make some guys miss ... wait, I think I’m thinking of Justin Tuck. Who’s Justin Tucker again? [googles Justin Tucker] Oh…

Yes, it probably would have been just as effective to let Phillip Rivers spit in his drink.

Male fertility drugs are pretty much snake oil. The only thing they try to do, with inconsistent results, is increase testosterone ratio. It’s the same goal as actual doping. 

Which “they” are you talking about? The NFL, the Giants, or Tate? As far as I can see all the NFL said is Tate was suspended. It was Tate himself who gave the reason why.

Egg on his FACE? No wonder he didn’t succeed.

No matter how much of that stuff he takes I don’t think he’ll ever get pregnant

That’s a picture of him before he starting taking steroids.

“Seriously, he has; once he called one that was off my shoulder!”
-Orion

A bit more than a month from now, UmpBOT will be unceremoniously murdered on his first assignment to the bigs - a Phillies home game.

Bosnian Hulk SMASH!!!

Free agency is broken.

“Wow, amazing. NONE of the Citroen trucks lasted more than 3,000 miles and they all failed catastrophically! Congrats on the sabotage.”