To be fair, that’s an Australian cow. It’s size is greatly exaggerated by the Mercator projection.

They need a better evacuation plan. 

He’s especially good at the following commands:

I have a slightly related question about my plumber...

Lots of butthurt here. Instead of throwing a coordinated temper tantrum, why not make a coordinated effort to compete?

Rub his nose in it, otherwise he’ll never learn.

So I see she’s already had some coffee.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Them: “The all-digital future will be great! No one needs physical media anymore! Get with the program, olds!”

Me: “You won’t own a damn thing you purchase (not that we did with physical media either; dem EULAs), and eventually, companies will start selling your childhood back to you via subscription services.”

Them:…

A show of hands for people who would love a regular F-35 flyby and would put up with the noise for the occasional impromptu airshow?

Native-born citizens shouldn’t be allowed to vote until we can pass the same citizenship test they give to immigrants.

Is horse manure really that effective as a fertilizer, tho? I had a classmate way back, maybe around 1980 or so whose mother spread freshly harvested moose dung (don’t ask me where or how she acquired it; I seriously don’t know lol) in all her flower beds in the family yard around their house. Unfortunately it would…

They know everything

Michael no SWIPING, MICHAEL NO SWIPING

Do you know what else is junk science? The idea that somehow birth is some magical experience that transforms a lump of cells that do not constitute a human being to a human being with rights. If abortion is not murder, then as many have pointed out neither is infanticide, nor euthanasia of elderly or disabled…

Sure - next time I have an upset stomach I’ll be sure to reach for the Juice of Magnesia.

However, when Mullen inquired about renting the equipment, he received an email saying that the company did not service Detroit due to employees being robbed and equipment being stolen and/or damaged in the past.

These are the faces I had when I was reading Splinter talking about how Hillary Clinton lost the election, and none of the reasons were “because white supremacy and liberal white privilege collided to F us all in the A with no lube”.

I think Charmin Sandiego is a better name than The Mad Pooper.