I don’t understand why they just didn’t scream “NO FAIR!”, grab the bats and balls, and storm off the sandlot to go home and play Xbox.

“Run faster!”

I wish MLB would put out better videos. How can I truely appreciate the slow trot around the bases if they show half of it in slow motion.

Stop bragging about me on the internet.

You know that fucker was making them buy name brand.

+.221

I believe him. His batting average shows he’s not hitting anything.

i would normally never suggest this, but stay in the closet.

Well Jay Jaffe called his stat JAWS without asking first so both sides do it

If a tree is removed and no one was around to witness it, was it ever really there?

He leads the NL in WAR, ERA, strikeouts, FIP—all that good stuff.

Not even close. Tanaka lost a no hitter and the game in a way more infuriating fashion when he got shelled for six runs in the first inning against the Astros, last month.

It was a quintessential Max Scherzer game until it wasn’t

Where’s the challenge of a driverless vehicle in a location where it is always sunny and warm? Throw a snowstorm with 30mph gusts and minus-ten WCF at those fancy computer algorithms and see how they work then. 

Meanwhile, the MTA’s attempts have not been successful.

Story Time! (and this might be the WHITEST story ever committed to the internet, but it proves Noah’s point)

It’s never “TOO SOON” for inappropriate humor. Star for you.

“Thankfully everyone involved received only minor injuries.”

To be fair, a sizeable rock in the road can back up traffic anywhere.