As a government worker who is helping with the COVID-19 response, I thank you for your service.

solid burn

“My father was a marine who fought to protect the laws and government of this country. That is why I demand the right to break those laws and defy that government.”

You seem like a very cool, fun person. 

She never called a 12 year old a cunt. The Onion did that.

I was with you until the whole her husband is a dork, it’s not about race or sex shit. Why do white people always want to tell you it is not about race without checking their internalized racism? I was not born in this country and yet I am always checking how casually racism is imbued into every part of our lives.…

Unfortunately, I know some people who have worked for and interacted with Alison and reported that she is... not a nice person. In fact, she was sort of egregiously careless with other people’s feelings. Not the way they put it, they used more profanity. I was super disappointed to hear this at the time, but at this…

Oh, I’m very sure the only person she does care about is her kids’ teacher.

Her mother doesn’t hate her. Her crazy-ass father and crazy-ass half-sister do.

Her own family, like Aaron Rodgers’ family, is desperate to get attention and uses her name to do so. 

It’s strange how Jezebel can’t fathom that Brad Pitt and Alia Shawkat are just friends. Brad’s best friend for over thirty years has been Mindy Cohn (she’s even godmother to his kids), yet no one ever suggested anything more to their relationship. Perhaps Brad just prefers women friends; it’s really not so unusual.

At a minimum, the jacket is getting dirty and worn rubbing on the rear tire.

Alia, that is an insane outfit to bike in. The jacket is just begging to get stuck in the gears and send you flying, and the boots are forcing you to pedal with the middle of your foot which is going to leave you sore in a weird way you never knew was possible.

(like that she “changed her story,” when she really didn’t)

Oh no, I have my money on him wanting to get them vaccinated. She's antivax.

To be clear, the masks are necessary for everyone, not just the essential workers who are the ones going to work, but it feels like now, “cute” masks are everywhere—readily available for non-essential workers who are all staying home to wear on their weekly grocery shopping trips, while the many so-called essential…

That Bernie supporters think Twitter engagement and memes are what matters most is EXACTLY why he’s lost two primaries.

Not gonna lie, Jezebel advice columns are always a hilarious shitshow of horrible advice, so I’m really looking forward to having something to mindlessly eat popcorn to.

Meh. Chloroquinine; injected disinfectants; shooting peeps on 5th Avenue; inciting mass shooters to attack assumed Mexicans; inciting terrorists to run over protestors; inciting nut bag to attack reporters.