I have a feeling the caretaker’s family was like, “Yo, you work for Betty White, and she paying you what? Sue dat bitch.”

So is Donald Trump really just Dudley Moore from 10? Or does he think he’s just living in every Blake Edwards movie, except The Pink Panther. Only because he generally doesn’t have a clue!

I don’t think Trump has ever spent a day in a tent that didn’t have champagne under it, except a pants tent for his huge dick.

i don’t know what this means for the trump campaign but I’m sure it’ll be reasoned poorly and forgotten soon enough

Well, it’s on Twitter. That’s rock solid truth.

Who hasn’t masturbated in public? But yes, I mostly agree with you.

Well, with that logic, he should be running for president

Old man Trump thinks a lot of these cockamamy Japanese electronics are faulty. Surely, they would be much better if they were made here in America, perhaps if we didn’t use this “ancient technology” we would have that footage of Muslims cheering on 9/11.

Love that you got Matt Damon applauding. Remember when he explained diversity to a black woman?

Was Cheryl Tiegs ever fuckable anyway? I’d feel like a log splitter.

I hate this

He tweets better than this guy. That hashtag is preposterous, Trump is anything but humble.

Poor little Hitler

I know he has a line after that which goes, “Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.”

Ladies and gentlemen, once again, George Carlin.

Maybe she’s dying, I mean aren’t we all?

What did I say yesterday? Every state with the word South in it pretty much sucks.

South Carolina was never a smart state anyway. Usually when it has the “South” in it, you get the idea. Or maybe, “West” as in West Virginia. Or “New” as in New Mexico. Usually it’s a bunch of blowhards disagreeing with a larger group of people, but they never really created much success other than themselves. The US…

I like to think as a human species we’ve evolved enough that we don’t have to think of the constitution literally word for word as it was written 200 years ago. Interpretation is key. That’s why the bible should not have been taken as literally as it was written thousands of years ago.

I wish we could delete our history, our past, and our feelings. I was at the smithsonian this summer and saw a lot of wonderful artifacts that point to this being true. I have to imagine for religious people it’s like finding out santa claus isn’t real or perhaps that’s all science fiction. I don’t think this should…