*cries, pre-emptively*

Bayer settled over 1,000 lawsuits related to its brand of combination pill, Yaz.

Please, please don’t export the Clippers to Seattle. I know the locals here are still frothing at the mouth about the Sonics getting shitcanned, but please... not the Clippers. Besides, Kill Superman Climate Pledge Arena isn’t even finished being built, yet!

Your entire argument falls apart when you realize that Lady Slaverytimes is changing their name to one that was already in use. Sure, Lady 3/5ths is larger - but they’re steamrolling the person that was ALREADY. USING. THE. NAME.

I always wanted Ric Ocasek to write a hit song called “Gary Numan” but now I guess that dream will never come true.

The only trouble *I* foresee is - how do you determine the proper dose amount?  Maybe you can get different size straws for different users.  Beginners get the half pixy stix straw, and for your Tony Montanas you just get a paper towel tube with peel-away caps on either end?

Oh yeah - in all honesty, Fun Dip is actually only SLIGHTLY less lazy than Pixy Stix, because - even though the whole thing is just SUGAR (the stick, the flavored packets are just sugar with a light dusting of fruity flavor-like substance and color) whereas Pixy Stix are just paper straws filled with the Fun Dip dust.…

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Are you from another dimension?

The one that floated around MY school of Young Sociopaths was, “Why didn’t McAuliffe take a shower before launch?”

Unfortunately, all my coworkers think it’s fried Jesus, as does most the internet, forcing me to be aggressively contrarian about it.

I honestly had to do a reverse image search to find out who the fuck that dude is, and... jesus tapdancing christ.

They really need to put that link in the main article.

One time, for the people in the back that keep sending me variations of the following:

Hoquiam Harvey really leaned into that whiteness thing pretty hard! I mean, not only did he totally pull himself to the top of the lumber industry in WA, but he did so just by pulling on those bootstraps that he got from his drunken whore of a mother (his words, not mine!)

Here’s the part that gets MY goat:

It’s right there in your first post:

The news isn’t that systemic racism exists:

It’s called being a grown adult who does their own grocery shopping.

The best part about all this is that even that ding-dong’s daughter, Mathilde Tybring-Gjedde - who is ALSO a Norwegian politician - is openly saying that her dad is a troll who’s full of shit.