I don’t know what this is all about - every single flight I have taken in my life, I have raw-dogged the hell out of it!  Never ONCE have I worn a condom while I was on an airplane!

Sounds like your co-workers are a bunch of gatekeeping shitbags! Wait - I AM at Kotaku, so... okay, carry on.

Final Fantasy VIII ate my balls.

Perhaps the best joke to come out of this otherwise so-so episode (too much time is spent on a boring B-plot with Bart) is when Lisa calls out Homer being overprotective because of his Mario Kart dream, to which Homer responds “What’s Mario Kart?” I have so many questions.

Consequences? For my actions? Not in this economy!

We would have also accepted, “Gettin’ Straight Outta Compton”.

I dunno... that sounds exactly like what a scam game would say...

Nailed it on the first try!

I will not rest until my Whopper order is taken by Nandor deLaurentis!

I honestly couldn’t tell if it was a parody post made from just the most dry-humor possible. It’s all too stupid to be sincere.... right? Like - criminally stupid. But I’ve seen this ding dong’s replies to other posts and I have to assume that it’s are very sincere. Very sincere, and very deeply stupid. The mind…

Press ‘F’ to Pay the Check

No, they’re saying “We have a war game. What setting can we give it that the consumer already associates with war and terror?”.

I’m sorry, but the forefathers would NEVER deign to acknowledge the authority of a COLORED man! Therefore, neither Thomas nor Alito (what with his swarthy Italian blood!) should be recognized. This also means they will not bother to acknowledge Coney Barrett, Kagan, Sotomayor, or Brown Jackson. This Supreme Court…

critics were let down by the movie’s cookie-cutter story and abundant fan service.

Seriously, who the hell shows up to an audition and is like, “Beg me to take this part!”  Fuck outta here, we’ll find someone that actually wants to do it.

This thing is a HaloWarthog rendered on an SNES. This truck makes Playstation 1 polygons look positively fluid.

It’s like the “front view” still shots of Simpsons characters.  Just... ew.

Looking forward to a very calm, reasonable comment thread, today!  I mean, not HERE, but there will be one somewhere out there on the World Wide Web!

Twist Ending:  Se7en happens in the Star Wars universe, and Brad Pitt has been a Jedi the WHOLE TIME.