It’s real bad out here. I recently just destroyed my 3DS by trying to clean it up, and when I realized that my console-repair skills stopped advancing in the 90's, it was too late. NBD, I thought - there’s a ton of 3DS out there!

Yeah, honestly? Fox isn’t anything like a competent news source, because their entire brand (just like their Republican politician “friends”) don’t operate well when they’re on top. They only exist as a “counter” - they have no idea what to do when given the reins. I think Fox, like everyone else, is longing for the…

Yeah, obviously your real name is Martha Batman.  DUH!

Sylvia Burmeister fucking sucks and she is dis-invited from any and all future picnics, barbecues, and gatherings forthwith.

Yeah, those are the only two that I’ll actually miss. But I’m also apparently the only guy that fucking hated “Superman,” so my opinion probably means less than nothing around here.

Yeah, when they’re all dead, that’ll show us elites!

I wonder what his homeboy JC thinks about his obsession with large-format printed Bibles?

Every. Single. Time. I eat a taco, I think about that sketch. And any time I eat guacamole, my brain translates it to, “guac-a-molito sauce!”

I’m horrified at just the still image on that YouTube link. I’m already preemptively fighting a gag reflex and steeling myself to withstand the undoubtedly AWESOME RAPS this fellow has about his favorite book (that he’s also probably never read in full, just the highlights.)

Every Corgi I’ve ever seen has had a resting “happy” face. Yet, somehow, you’ve managed to recreate “American Gothic” using corgis in muppet hoods.

Oh man. My cat will NOT abide clothing, but I am so, SO supremely tempted to get him the shirt, so he can pretend that instead of Tom Nook, he is actually CATNUM, P.I.

Oh man.  I can’t wait to be simultaneously excited and embarrassed by some of the audio tracks in these games - but damn if I’m not going to buy this and spend more time pretending to be a pro skater than I am pretending to do my job remotely!

What stage of burnout is “Show up at a Subway with a rocket launcher”?  Or is that just a combination if minding one’s diet and getting up to move about?

^ THIS.  I needed to bring you out of the greys.  This is how it’s DONE, people!

Wrong, a hot dog is actually just a bologna calzone.

So would they call that “White Croix” or maybe “La Claw”?

Hi, I’m here to meet your 2 out of 3 requirements. Where does the queue start?

I’m here to serve!

Now it all makes sense - Nate Dogg and Ludacris were singing about how they had such massive collections of sneakers that they had to store then in multiple area codes!

Sorry, everybody.  I usually try to not jump straight to “KILL THESE MOTHER FUCKERS!” but watching footage of them laying a trap and murdering a man out for a jog has got me puttin’ on my rage face.