Once you’ve had kids watching little kids being happy absolutely destroys you.

Jeez, I’m so over TV series that are mysteries. “What are you watching? What’s going on? WATCH FIVE MORE EPISODES AND FIND OUT!”

Pirates are amoral dudes who rape, murder and pillage, but they pass on raping gorgeous Robbie because she’s a fellow pirate?

Also Easy A sucks butt, I’ve never seen anyone refer to that movie positively for any reason. 

Wait until you hear James Franco tried to have sex with a consenting adult!

Wanting to have sex with virgins is now wrong? Why is that wrong, provided the virgins wanted to have sex, too?

Or, and stay with us here, there go unproven accusations against another prominent director who cannot be fairly judged on the basis of the accusations, because they could very easily be completely false.

“Pursuing” is now wrong? Isn’t that how you get with somebody, by pursuing them and trying to get them to like you? Inviting them back to your place, sending them messages and stuff?

Give me a break. He’s spent the last year spewing transphobic hate, and when he was assaulted, he falsely put the blame on trans people, as if they’d sunk to his level. Just more lies about trans people out of his bigoted mouth.

Chappelle is a piece of transphobic shit. He doesn’t deserve to get physically assaulted, but at the same time, fuck him, and fuck all the normal people who turn into slobbering proto-MAGA types when they rush defend his bigotry.

So he was controlling, mean, hateful and once threw her to the ground? That sounds like every relationship I’ve ever seen. What’s the point of a relationship if one of you isn’t trying to dominate and oppress the other? I’ve had girls hit me in the head with a cast iron skillet; another was choking me in the sleeper…

Or as I call it, Fartwork. 

Jesus Christ, now I gotta watch 10 hours of boring superhero shit just to understand this two hours of boring superhero shit?

Why would we give a shit about Bucky?  Did they ever show him having a character?

A review that’s critical of the MCU?!? Holy shit, I never thought I’d see the day.  So many grown men are SO UPSET!

I think somebody needs an application to become a writer for AV Club!

Every time I see it I think “Is he brazenly ripping off Close Encounters? YUP.”

You’re doing good work, keep it up

She also doesn’t have an anus and would explode with feces if she ate anything. I mean, Barbie isn’t real, film at 11.

Gosh, my kids love his music, but, gosh, I could never take them to see him in concert because like virtually all music that’s played on the radio these days, the actual songs are dirty as shit.