@hatepaperdoll: HA!

Now little girls in India can masturbate to passages about Raymond's pulsing member goading Eldora into an orgasm like shimmering stars just like I did growing up.

My blog is NOT nominated but you can feel free to write me in.

@rocknrollunicorn: I thought she was going to tell her to tell the guy so he would pay for the abortion.

"Ask somebody else. I don't know" is really unhelpful but hilarious advice.

This guy is a nutso emailer, but doesn't it sound like she was sketchy, too? Like this part:

I am not embarassed by the actual queef; I' m just afraid they'll think I'm farting! That's why my bediquette when it happens is to loudly go, "That was my VAGINA, you know." Sexy, right?

@aspiringexpatriate: Um, I have no problem with Maxim. I think it's a funny magazine.

But, more importantly, my blog is in this issue of Maxim.

There are def some technical difficulties happening with this post.

I would never had had the guts. I LOVE you guys for doing this.

@J.D.Regent: Well, I'm under 26. But yeah, I don't quite get the reasoning that by a certain age we all have it anyway. I've probably had way more sex than most 35-year-olds.

I just got my second one. It's not stopping me from getting the third, but...you guys, it really does burn! I swear! Like so bad!

@lisas: Thank you! It's nice when we all say nice things to each other.

The haterism around here is pretty much the main reason I can't stand to comment anymore. When everyboyd's calling a super-gorgeous celebrity fat and ugly, it makes me feel like shit about myself.

@TruculentandUnreliable: Well, that's supposed to be good for your skin, too!

I also get really roped in by anything described in really wholesome sounding terms like "body milk." I mean, that just sounds like something I want to put on my face.

@dorsia: She let him keep doing it because it was going to make a really good article, duh.

And how does a guy who molests you and jerks off under a blanket for an hour not seem like a rapist?

I can't believe you sat there while he tried to touch you and paw at you for an hour. This is insane.