I saw them open for the Revolting Cocks back in ‘87.

The Swedish Chef felt me up.

We used to do”secret shitbag” at the office every Christmas.

Sorry, no. We’re gonna find out that Tom Hanks, Patrick Stewart, and Betty White all did horrible things to people.

Christopher Plummer has now been digitally inserted into all of the episodes of TOS as Sulu.

“Often, Colors actually sounds like the more stripped-down Beck of Modern Guilt or even Morning Phase trying to make a party record, before realizing that he can’t quite dance the pain away.”

That’s exactly right. Is Colors a party record by the guy who did “Where It’s At”? No, that guy’s dead—Lamborghini Shih Tzus…

We met some chicks who thought we were cool for yelling that and then we partied with them, and he got to play whatever he wanted. So I like to think that really, everybody was a winner that day.

If Beercan is a joke song, then Mellow Gold is a joke album, since it’s as good as any song on it.

Consider running a 5:40 mile. Then a 17:00 5k. you’d have to hold that pace for 13 5ks to approach what she did today.

It’s sad how deep into running you need to be to truly appreciate this sort of effort. Anybody on the couch can say “fuck that’s crazy” but unless you’re on the road 40 miles a week you’re probably not capable of understanding how much everything hurts sometimes. And at 40 miles a week you’re lower than whale shit on…

Broke her back.

He also can’t believe it’s real.

His face looks like a mask of what a human face should look like to me. It’s odd. Jenny from the Block, just gets more beautiful and oddly ageless.

That Camera Obscura story :( Good lord. I’m so glad she trusted her gut and got away safely.

i think the alien fingers were just...not believable. especially if the other TAs and prof were trying to figure out which one of their students were responsible for the messages. those fingers would stick out like...

I’m sorry for your personal problems, but there is a marked difference between the first pic and the other pics. It indicates that she lost a significant (and probably unhealthy) amount of weight. It’s fine to be thin, but if you take a close look at her chest and her shoulders it’s obvious she passed by “thin” a long…

I see she has succumbed to society’s pressure on women to be as thin as possible. In that top pic she is skeletal.

Okay, so there are tons of details that didn’t make it into this account because it’s already long to begin with (and it’s pretty clear what’s going on after a certain point), but he would repeatedly tell me about weird things he had done, or some of his barely-legal “business models” and say things like, “Now you…

Isn’t that just a dorm?

Being bipolar would probably bury it first.