Opening a Red Lobster in any state that touches salt water should be a federal crime.

It’s as good or better than Red Lobster, because aside from the cheddar biscuits, Red Lobster is trash.

When I heard the news this morning, I decided to head over to some UGA message boards to see what the vibe was like over there. I have to say, even though there were the obligatory people calling a kid they’ve never met an spoiled, entitled, overrated bitchboy... the majority of the comments were understanding of his…

You can also make coffee in a cheap aluminum pot over a cooking fire as well, what is your point exactly? You’ve never been to Japan have you? I’d hazard to guess a large portion of the population wouldn’t know how to cook rice without a rice cooker.

Hundreds of millions of servings of perfect beef are made everyday, all over the world, by people squatting over cooking fires, using cheap aluminum pots.

America’s Test Kitchen cookbooks are perhaps the most dog-earred, sauce-stained books in my kitchen. I love ‘em with everything I’ve got.

This one seems to blow a lot of people’s minds:

Keep kids at least 3 feet from the stove while you’re cooking.

Wild Horse Tub - $5000

How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip?

A roast chicken really only serves about four people.

Well, you see, rats and tiny dogs actually taste quite different. Plus, rats hold up much better to braising, while you want to roast dogs.

Sweet a truck with a bed just big enough to hold my protein supplements and gallon jug of water!

...shudder...

A really excellent use.

So.... this?

A wee taste? EWWW

One of the big reasons I hate the TSA’s Instagram is how they constantly show quart-sized baggies full to bursting with mini liquor bottles and caption it like “YES, you can take this through TSA!” and not a single goddamn mention that it’s kind of a pretty big no-no to drink from those bottles either on your flight…

Well then tell me how do you cut a person in 8 equal parts? Huh? Didn’t think so.

Nothing could be more American than refusing to do something that benefits other people.