No caffeine, no booze, definitely no moratorium on boning in that faith tradition.

Poop is number one, for the purposes of this article only.

Let’s have a contest to see which one of us can get into Dead Letters the quickest, starting now.

Is Kraft the majority owner?

At least he has a legitimate reason to fear foreigners.

You said The Rock has no human friends then you say he’s friends with Naomi Harris. How am I supposed to know whether to watch this movie?

You should also factor in the conversion of many private homes to rentals as slumlords bought up underwater properties in 2009 and 2010.

I spent a good night throwing a Turbo Screamer through the streets of Whitefish, Montana, one of the results of which was that my friend’s wife exiled him to the couch.

Thank you. I was looking for celebrity gossip about some kind of Lorde orgy gone wrong.

Please explain for the olds.

With you 100% on political philosophy, not comfortable with you publishing people’s e-mail addresses, regardless of whether the terms of service permit it.

I’m glad to see he’s realized he can’t do teeth and that he found a way to work through that.

First argument I’ve seen that making Thursday night football harder to see is a bad thing.

Auric Goldfinger: “Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.”

I’m pretty sure he was referring to the 2014 season.

“Make what you will of this, but at the time of the stoppage all three judges had Deontay Wilder winning by identical scores of 95-94. I spoke with at least 20 people at ringside—and with dozens of others since—and not one of them had the champion ahead on their scorecards. Make no mistake: Deontay Wilder won the…

Outstanding.

I burst out laughing in the middle of a museum when Scalia died. Didn’t work out.

Are we to believe that Andy Reid doesn’t grate his Gouda and Gruyere? Are they just for snacking?

Light me up with a glowing circle and a speed arrow and I could run at least a 7.33 40.