Does Child Prodigy Gamer of the Year get to attend the Deadspin Awards as a cross-honoree?

Those automatic door closer things on a low-hung door are worse. Cut your head right open.

If they were really committed to the relationship I’m sure they could have found common ground discussing their breasts.

Excellent use of “But for now...”

Make the shot while the ball’s on fire. Any fool can reflexively get rid of a burning object.

Maybe he has hemorrhoids or a broken coccyx.

Shit-talking is definitely not his Achilles heel.

So Peroni literally is piss?

And here I thought it was some g.d. Elvish thing.

Stephen A. Smith can’t fade into obscurity if you keep writing about him.

Has the league actually done an economic analysis of the “cost” of the protests? I’ll watch the NFL in an interesting year and have had no problem ignoring it the last few given the league’s many failings around CTE, domestic abuse, and anti-protest animus. A strong stand in favor of allowing players to speak would do…

I’m probably stating the obvious, but the proper thing to do with a cup of pee is to sneak up on your target and swap the piss with their beer when they’re not paying attention.

You can absolutely see it becoming a game of who beat him the most.

Shouldn’t Seavey’s eyes be masked and not the dogs’? I am not from Alaska but I am having a hard time seeing how the dogs themselves are going to face criminal charges. Much more likely the guy who drugged them. This is Mike Pence-level victim shaming.

Tweakers.

How are the chicks down there?

I feel much better knowing it’s only 274 injured players.

Except the beer you mention is brewed an hour to the east.

Download the floor plan and take it with you. You’d be amazed at the shortcuts.

Nothing makes a public statement like outing the Dolphins’ offensive line coach as a substance abuser.