You’ll be happy to know that this New York transplant raising his children in Minneapolis has vowed to disinherit them if they ever say “grey duck.”

I want a talented person to swap Trump in for Don Zimmer in the Pedro video.

I buy and sell shit online as a side project. It is unfuckingbelievable how many people buy water bottles, and at any price.

The Saints will let you.

That mic guy would do well at an orgy.

This is the sort of hard-hitting sports news that is sure to vault Deadspin into first.

It’s amazing to me that for a billion dollars this doesn’t get factored in. Similar to US Bank stadium, a billion dollars gets a monument to dead birds where U2 sounds like an assembly line.

FIFA wants the marketing money that an engaged U.S. audience brings — the U.S. will get in one way or another.

Hang on, is Naehring saying that the Pulaski Yankees and the Charleston RiverDogs ARE using cameras to steal signals? WHY DIDN’T YOU FOLLOW UP?

I appreciate that Deadspin does a good job of surfacing the NFL’s moral failings, but I don’t see nearly as much enthusiasm in many other publications or the general population. Kaepernick and concussions don’t pop up in office chatter the way that AP beating his kid did. Why is that?

Powerful.

Please add the NSFW gallery immediately.

Is bold Comic Sans legible?

Not sure what the problem is here. Even a super horny gymnastics doctor would have trouble catching your average traceur.

Lenny’s been acting like an asshole in public places for at least a quarter century.

Based on your keen analysis here, I’m pretty comfortable saying you’re not going to enjoy a trip to the Taj.

The Administration is in a horse-race with Mark Trail for worst cartoon. James Allen Mark Trail, not Jack Elrod Mark Trail.

Great story. Congratulations!

In two words you’ve gotten three times the stars I’ve ever received.

Nah, Marbury’s going to catch his fall.