It’s an invasion of privacy to plasma his picture all over the media. 

Warning: It was extremely gross and alarmingly red.

To put it in another perspective, when it’s over the Mets still owe Bobby Bonilla 4 more years of payments.

Doping violations in a card game? Now that’s a bridge too far 

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

Like he did Foles?

Sometimes, it all works out innuendo.

The arrest was made after Jones tried to flee from IGC Agents Clyde, Pinky, Blinky, and Inky.

IGC agents were “called to investigate a patron for possibly cheating at a table game.” ... The statement didn’t specify which game Jones was playing.

That’s trickle down economics right there.

Just a couple Johns being Johns.

No, he said, “he’s sure broke.”

Frankly, the real victim here is Alison Chu’s vagina

Off a routine throw-in! Rashford heads it forward, then starts running down the line. Luiz weakly heads into the middle of the field (doh!); Pogba muscles in front of a Chelsea player, then just skids the ball into acres of space vacated by Luiz and Alonso (DOH!), who is never at home @ left back.

It’s Wisconsin. That something in the water is beer-cheese soup.

Looks like the Ravens were able to make a potential quarterback controversy vanish into thin air.

“You know that maladjusted, self-satisfied, absentee parent we hired who hasn’t seen his kids for more than two days a month since he spends every waking hour berating his players for perceived lack of heart and failure to live up to his unreasonable expectations? I bet his kid learned a lot about football from him!”

Totally missed the opportunity to rearrange the letters into ANAL TIN POT.

we’ll all be reading about Alabama’s four-man team of water cooler technicians, each of whom make $400,00 a year

Yeah, hmmm, what happened over the last 2 years in Washington that would piss the world off?