Last time I saw Jon Stewart kick anybody that hard in the dick, it was Tucker Carlson on Crossfire.

So Castro and his other revolutionaries choose a boat named the Granma to sail to Cuba to start their revolution. After the revolution succeeds, they decide to rename one of the provinces of this new nation after their boat, and we get the Granma province. Now, the baseball team of this province decides on calling…

Finally, Durham Police step in and start arresting these sexual predator athletes because the University has clearly and repeatedly failed in its duties to protect...wait, what? England? Nm.

Johnson: Would you like to see Sunderland?

A.) It was a kick, shut up.

No, it's not surprising. James Harden kicked him in the balls, that is worse than anything anyone else did in that game.

Men are terrible. I'm glad I'm a guy, because if I was a woman I'd never ever date. Ever. It blows my mind that any woman would want anything to do with us.

I see a lot of commentary on this - all of it good - that "Dads who have daughters should read this!" or whatever.

@primetime227 and @Nagels_Bagels.... What a bunch of neanderthals, right Curt?

Wow there is almost NOTHING Curt Schilling could say or do to make me un-hate him, yet here we are...

"don't know what i would do without you" besides have a much better understanding of science and natural history!

Oh boo-hoo, A-1 Banners Inc. My sympathy for Canadian corporations is Ltd.

it's clearly not a banner deadline day.

I dunno, most lax bros hide balls in incoherently drunk college girls (of which I see none.)

I'm gonna hound you night and day, rain or shine, tallywacker or selfwacker, Joey or Jimmy until you give Dad back the $1,000 he lent you

The fact that "Jimmy Tallywacker" now exists and is commenting on my old posts is pretty good proof of this.

If you think you may have done something dumb on social media, swiftly quintuple down on your original comment.

I thought you said there was a joke in there somewhere?

My life is great. I really enjoyed sitting down with my family today and watching Chicago's point guards shoot 5-22 from the floor.