Can somebody hold me so I can cry for 5 minutes?

Olynyk is having a good year, hell great year. He found a perfect fit. He still get’s dunked on all the damned time. He may as well change his last name to Plumlee.

Everybody wants a trophy. Some people stay on Bron’s good side, some people date a Kardashian, this man did both.

You are correct, sir. Mainly because I will not count running toward the basket and waiting for LeBron to LeBron as a post move. Also, Tristan’s floater looks just like mine...when I was 12.

It’s “jumping Jehosephat” and “GREAT googly moogly”, sir. I learned that second one from a Snickers commercial.

1000 dollars almost covers my deductible, good try buddy. And teachers with summer jobs? Whodathunkit?

Yes

A Russian salad sounds like taking a shot of vodka out of someone’s anus.

I’m a little shocked they didn’t tell them to stockpile vodka. I’m going to just in case.

This is assuming we hit the right targets... And none of it flies in to the atmosphere or surrounding habitat.

Great piece. All of our toughest demons are from inside us.

Mayor Steinberg also told Chief Hahn that he would like answers from Hahn on improvements to the department’s policies and practices in the coming weeks.

Aren’t they all just a bunch of fucking children?

I don’t know what’s better, Harriot actually stealing “Mayosapiens” or “Yakubeyoncé”. (Prepare to be famous, Habitat)

I would enroll in all of his classes and double dog dare his ass to give me an F. All of my student loans would be paid for after I call 1-800-Lawyers.

When I have to take a work duece and somebody has peed on the seat... UGH!!!

Ted is just mad he has to go to twitter to get the hot porn clips.

I still don’t know how people do this with no hands. It is cold or what, b?

Another post nightclub suicide pact.

They’re just an evil cabal that works for the devil. Nothing to see here.