I don't know. My sister's husband's neighbor's wife got her kid a vaccine, and it gave their kid ebola. It's not really the same as autism, but if they can give a kid ebola, y'know?

I'm only letting my kids get organic vaccines just in case. Because it's my kids.

No, it's just a REALLY good corset...it will suck in space and time as well as your waistline.

"What's nice is there are people who are hugely passionate about it. It's not like they're just sort of regular fans; they're superfans who absolutely love everything about it."

All designers should have to do a Hippocratic Oath of sorts.

I was thinking the same thing - one pair, $28? That's a steep price tag for this gal who wears Jockeys.

Of course someone already made this a fake twitter account. I thank them.

Every single thing that went wrong tonight was because of Travolta's absurd and hideous toupee.

Judging by the bottle of hoisin sauce in my Chicago-located kitchen, and the kung pao I've had both in and out of Chinatown...we're ok over here.

Do you know anything about neurobiology? About how traumatic memories lodge themselves in the amygdala, so people keep reliving them, in times of stress, over and over again?

Eckhart Trolle...

Why dont you fuck off, you silly little troll. And grow the fuck up, idiot.

Hahaha. At which online college did you take an intro philosophy class?

So, if I was diagnosed with cancer in the past, as long as I don't let the thought of it bother me, I will not die of cancer?

Omg you sound like suchhh an insufferable twat.

If you applied the same logic to your own actions you wouldn't be criticizing the woman who wrote this article. It upset you? Let it go. She wrote it in the past. You read it in the past.

Useless platitudes don't fix things. Cathartic experiences, like writing that obituary, are what help.

As someone who's gone through my own ration of shit (mind you, not even close to the level of what this woman put her family through, not by at least a power of ten) and hears that kind of statement a lot, I cordially invite you to go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw. You don't just get over your past, no matter…

Actually, abuse, like the abuse described above, actually changes you psychically - your brain and (recently discovered) your genes are both altered. Your bullshit statement is not only insensitive and troll like (which was recently shown to mean you probably have psychopathic tendencies) but also wrong. Nice try.…

Are you kidding me? I don't even know where to start with you. First of all, she wrote an obituary, which needed to be written in the present. Also, if you think all of this crap doesn't affect someone's present then you certainly have not had to deal with any of this, or, you're in complete denial.

Great. So not only will I die by coughing up a lung, but I will have to die knowing that it's because some Portland hipster yuppie douchebag couldn't be arsed to take his daughter Cucumber to get a fucking pertussis shot between her unicycle and harpsichord lessons.