Trump is of course angry about the confirmations of his staggering incompetence, but deep down I bet he’s also angry that this means he might have to read a book.

Occam’s Razor. The most likely explanation is generally ‘Trump is a complete moron’.

I’m betting the decision is born of Trump’s enormous ego. “Allow an author unfettered access to my awesomeness so that they will go on to write a glowing account of my administration? What could go wrong?”

For any sentence that begins, ‘Did Trump not think’, the answer is ‘yes’.

If he has dementia, it is only exacerbating an extant condition known as ‘being Donald Trump’.

Another big part of the problem is money in politics which results in an increasingly compromised executive branch... I guess that could fall into the ‘greed’ category, though.

We’ll pick up the pieces of our tattered reputation, adjust to our diminished international role and suffer through decades with Trump’s crop of incompetent judicial appointees. That’s what we’ll do.

It’s the exception that proves the rule.

Do you think I’m happy I know these things?!?

Honestly you could just let him speak for himself and slap a ‘Bad Lip Reading’ byline on it.

It had nouns. Oh, and some verbs!

I imagined that comment spoken in the weariest voice in the world.

It’s a sign of frostbite! Immediately seek medical attention!

What are you looking at? There’s nothing there.

It is in his soul that the true distortion lies.

(Checks watch)

Only people who are deeply insecure about their own appearance go on about ‘ugly’ people so much. Milo seems like a huge mess of a human being, and if I had to guess I’d say a lot of his bigotry is motivated by self-loathing.

Love will not prevent your husband from getting killed, but it will prevent your offspring from getting killed in select, highly specific scenarios.

Yeah, it’s probably a mistake to attribute any sort of coherent strategy behind the boneless, flailing, dying animal which is the Trump administration.

It can’t be worse than my failed Harry Pot student film about a delusional middle-school drug dealer who discovers his legacy as a scion to a family of degenerate informants. I learned gritty reboots are awful the hard way.