Do you think I’m happy I know these things?!?

Honestly you could just let him speak for himself and slap a ‘Bad Lip Reading’ byline on it.

It had nouns. Oh, and some verbs!

I imagined that comment spoken in the weariest voice in the world.

It’s a sign of frostbite! Immediately seek medical attention!

What are you looking at? There’s nothing there.

It is in his soul that the true distortion lies.

(Checks watch)

Only people who are deeply insecure about their own appearance go on about ‘ugly’ people so much. Milo seems like a huge mess of a human being, and if I had to guess I’d say a lot of his bigotry is motivated by self-loathing.

Love will not prevent your husband from getting killed, but it will prevent your offspring from getting killed in select, highly specific scenarios.

Yeah, it’s probably a mistake to attribute any sort of coherent strategy behind the boneless, flailing, dying animal which is the Trump administration.

It can’t be worse than my failed Harry Pot student film about a delusional middle-school drug dealer who discovers his legacy as a scion to a family of degenerate informants. I learned gritty reboots are awful the hard way.

Yeah, it is kind of a mystery why dogs do that. Some vets think dogs recycle digestive enzymes which is why they employ coprophagia, but I don’t know if anyone knows for sure. Anyway, different rules for different animals.

Okay, Dan missed a point that people who work in child psychology are familiar with. Human beings are programmed not to re-ingest their own bodily fluids. Once a fluid has been expelled there is an instinctive aversion to reclaiming it, likely as a result of an evolutionary survival advantage for our ancestors who…

I know, right? I started drinking at 7:00 AM like it was a Tuesday, not 8:00 AM like it was a Thursday!

Intelligent... something intelligent... um... quantum mechanics do not represent statements which support a hypothesis, but rather the observation of mathematically supported phenomena!

Mirror Universe Tarantino makes nothing BUT science-fiction. All of the movies are terrible, there’s almost no dialogue, and all the female characters wear really heavy boots.

Son, the best I can do for you is to say that you might be right. But I learned long ago not to bet against the ignorance of the Hollywood elite.

If you can shoehorn in a kid dying of cancer and an angry atheist who learns a valuable lesson by the end of the film we can have this sack of garbage in theatres by Easter!

Darn that Mr. Brainwash! I keep meeting to dramatically confront them, but for some reason it keeps slipping my mind.