There are two of them, so ‘shit’ should be plural.

AHHH! Your rant knocked me back into the greys! Jesus, no!

Columbo drives a Peugeot. Columbo is cool. Therefore, Columbo is a Peugeot.

It was gorgeous. A great sequel, but damn! That soundtrack could be used to drive away bears.

And then as Donald stared deeply into Mike’s eyes, he saw his own tiny reflection staring back at him. His lips parted. His breath became heavy and ragged.

Yeah, I’d love to watch that, but I have to slowly flay the skin off the bottom of my feet instead.

I mean, look, we all know they’re hypocrites for supporting Trump, no one is debating that. And even the most dedicated supporter of the Christian Right would openly admit that their ideology marginalizes and attacks women and the LGBTQ community. And look, I think we can all agree that if there is a hell, then the…

It’s almost as though the Christian Right made a deal with the... with someone. Someone bad? Darn it, this is right on the tip of my tongue.

Curses! The last place I would have thought to look!

“Boy, that $____ sure will buy _____ cocaine.”

He’s going to date whoever the coke tells him to date.

5. The opposite of a king.

It’s allegedly the name of his alleged coke dealer.

Is there some kind of secret Youtube asshole training camp we haven’t heard of?!?

In other news, Andy Signore has just been retroactively pardoned by Donald Trump and appointed his new chief of staff. 

Peter David made Gambit interesting again in X-Factor. That was nice of him.

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that despite all evidence to contrary, we have not yet reached peak stupid.

THIS IS OUR LIFE NOW. WE TOUCHED OURSELVES WHEN GOD SAID NOT TO AND NOW THIS, FOREVER!

Yas, queen. (Snap)

If only it were just compromise that was the problem, rather than jaw-dropping, world-endangering ineptitude.