Trump knows more about war than generals. No one will see it coming!

...Looks fine to Trump.

Conservatives were like conservatives and now they control the presidency and both houses of congress, and have swept into governor’s mansions from coast to coast. Trump thinks it is inevitable that the Democrats are going to get down in the dirt, because they have learned that it works. What good did rational…

Go away, Comey! Go away, Meuller! Stop looking at Trump’s taxes or Trump will nuke South Korea. There is literally nothing preventing Trump from doing that at any moment.

Blaagh! Bezos?!? Blaagh! Blaagh!

...Use your imagination. Trump will have likely put on weight by the time Trump gets reelected.

Ha ha! Trump said so many awful things with no consequences! And he got elected president!

Trump has noticed that the liberals aren’t putting up with nearly as much of Trump’s sh*t anymore. Trump forgot left-wingers can get really mean when they’re pissed off. Trump must be nice to left-wingers, or they might be mean to him!

Trump’s crowd size exists in a state of quantum flux. Reality cannot support the near-infinite mass of Trump’s innumerable supporters, and so when you observe them you are merely peering into a collapsing photonic projection of a level 1 alternate universe with a number your mind is capable of comprehending.

Those fake ads have fooled Trump so many times, Trump ended up spending $107 million on Amazon. Now what is Trump going to do with all these thousands of discounted PS4 games and audiobooks?!? General Kelly is going to be so mad at Trump if he finds out!

Trump thinks that if Trump’s supporters really cared about their money, they wouldn’t have given it to Trump. The same is true for their votes!

Why would Trump pay attendees? Trump never pays anyone if Trump can help it. Besides, if they were dumb enough to vote for Trump, then they were dumb enough to spend their free time at Trump’s rally.

Trump is the fake Holy Grail of American politics. The Nazis picked that one too!

They should have let the pianos go bankrupt and then begin laundering money for Russian pianos.

Where are you going, Baio? Trump owns you now!

Reports of Trump feasting on Human flesh are fake news! Fake news! Blaagh!

Trump Refers to Trumpself in the third-person, gentle voter!

Trump wouldn’t want to hurt a duck regardless of its size, and also has a really nice pair of steel-toed boots. So: the Biebers.

Blaagh! Trump knows you are speaking about Trump too!

Trump’s heart broke when Trump found out about Nick Searcy.