Trump is first. Trump is always first, and he gets two scoops, not one.

No incest! No incest! You’re the incest!

Trump is green, not gray. Green Trump is much stronger and more classy than gray Trump.

All Trump knows how to do is screw up the actual universe.

Not Trump! Not Trump! You’re Trump!

Testing... testing...

Trump just posted ten posts, then all the posts were gone. Kinja ate all Trump’s posts! Those were Trump’s posts! TRUMP’S POSTS!

>Drools, shuffles closer<

FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! HUMAN FLESH! BLAAAGH!

>Whine<

You mock Trump? BLAAAH! YOUR DELICIOUS FLESH WILL BE MINE!

Low energy GOP is bad, won’t try hard enough to kill Obamacare! Trump has a secret plan that is better, so secret even he doesn’t know it. But it will be amazing, and it will cure pop culture.

Trump hopes they like drinking polluted water and mining coal.

Trump doesn’t need your permission! Trump will have ice cream first, then go back to ruining the country... but not because you told me to! Because Trump wants to!

Trump owns many hotels that people love. The best hotels, the best! Trump loves hotels!

Trump will cut taxes while saving princess with secret plan, build wall to keep the lazy Elves out!

We have come up with a solution that’s really, really I think very good. Now, I have to tell you, it’s an unbelievably complex subject, nobody knew that saving Hyrule would be so complicated. But Trump has a secret plan! Trump won’t tell you the plan, it’s secret. Let’s just say it involves time travel and a boat,…

Wario is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice!

What does ‘pending approval’ mean? Why is my scalp itching? What’s that weird smell?

I think that the Kinja is reacting with my hair-growth medication. I... I don’t feel well. My skin is turning green and I taste copper.