Now, now. Let's be fair and let's not bogart the stash based on hasty assumptions.

I'm conflicted about this news, A.V. Club.

Wow, A.V. Club. Not to toot my own horn, but I am really on fire lately.

Oh, Jimmy. Where did it go wrong for us? It used to be good, remember?

137 minutes of sex, violence, monsters, gore, and just a little bit more sex and violence to top it off

James Murphy enjoins you not to be "cynical" about the reunion. His argument is unimpeachable:

Dear A.V. Club,

CBGB is now a crappy restaurant in the Newark Airport? Will the corporate assimilation (and thereby neutralization) of every vestige of counter-culture or dissent ever cease? I'm shocked. I'm outra—

NEVER ADMIT. NEVER APOLOGIZE.

Oh, A.V. Club,

usus magister optimus est

Dear A.V. Club,

Cynic.

My dear PantsGoblin,

Dear A.V. Club,

I know the A.V. Club has rules about self-promotion, but permit me to just once again highlight my own contributions to this year in television.

Dear A.V. Club,

Yeah, cheese is really bad for you.

THIS GUY GETS IT.

Oh, A.V. Club, how this project warms my heart!