Full points to the first woman to cuss a blue streak the instant Kelly says that patronizing shit in her presence.

Ooh, salade nicoise sounds amazing! I saw a recipe for it on Ina Garten’s show once and it looked so good. I haven’t tried a spiralizer, but I love an excuse to buy more shit for my kitchen—AND an excuse to go to Trader Joe’s (though not the one on 14th Street—especially after Sunday brunch, it’s a fucking nightmare…

I’m so tired of this motherfucker screaming about “Witch Hunts” that I would love nothing more than for an actual witch to appear in front of him out of a puff of smoke (a la Scooby Doo) and smack him upside the head multiple time, without saying a word.

I’m gonna make you jeeeeaaaallllooooouuusss! I once squeezed what I thought was a normal ingrown hair on my calf and that motherfucker popped out a hair over two inches long. It was amazing. I’m more of a squeezer than a plucker but I totally get the satisfaction aspects.

Much like Mueller, he’s getting Alllll his ducks in a row. No need to rush.

I get off on fat humiliation videos, putting myself in the role of the person being humiliated. It’s based on my shame over my weight. It feels unhealthy sometimes, and I’m trying to move to a place where I can navigate the fetish without feeling extreme or abberant, so I’m going to watch this. I don’t have the…

She’s a birther. She deserves every moment of hell she is currently living through. I hope it’s every bit as painful as it appears.

According to Buzzfeed, trump forgot to get her a birthday present, claiming to be too busy. I keep hoping that either Obama or Macron got her something and that it was personal and beautiful, just to watch trump loose his shit and make her question her life’s choices.

I don’t get the rush to sympathize with her either. Just because she married a criminal shitstain for money who decided to run for president and cheated on her with a bunch of women like her, and which, I bet, she knew about all along and was part of their “we don’t sleep together” arrangement, does not make her a…

Absolutely nothing will make these toxic, caustic jackasses go away until this scenario plays out...

“Donald Jr. is a good-looking guy”

Sue, Sue, SUE, SUE, SUE these motherfuckers. I want those women to OWN that golf club.

Scott Pruitt has declared wood burning to be carbon neutral, paying little mind to the fact that wood burning is not carbon neutral.

Don’t lots of dudes have piercings?

When I was in college, I did as stint at a grocery store in a part of London popular with superannuated European nobility. I’d regularly get customers with haughty attitudes, impenatrable accents, and checkbooks bearing names like “The Countess of Warsaw” and “The Prince of Carpathia.” They were usually buying…

“I like him cause he’s honest” = “I like hearing my shitty opinions coming from someone else’s mouth because I feel it validates them”

Get her checked for kennel cough, not uncommon and thankfully very treatable. And yes, raising a puppy is a lot! Savour those precious moments puppy sleeps...

“We’re not targeting you, Mr. President. We’re just waiting for you to blunder into our crosshairs.”

Perfect gif is perfect.