And everyone knows that every Internet game ever has retained the same amount of popularity over time. So I say buy! Buy! Buy stock in Candy Crush!

Oh man, I'm in DC and it's the same. The constant back & forth temperatures are killing my sinuses and my skin. I bought a facial moisturizer, which has helped. My hands are still a goddamn mess, though. I've even been sleeping with lotion and gloves on. Not helping.

"But winter is determined to leave us with one last parting shot, like a guest taking a massive dump in your bathroom before walking out the door."

You are drinking the wrong kind of American beer. Craft beer is delicious, unique, and fucking EVERYWHERE.

Blue Moon is beating Dogfishhead 90 Minute IPA?

The fuck is wrong with me that my first inclination is to not believe the mother's back story? Is there some sort of surgery available that can lift the excess cynic out of me?

Canned soup too! I love canned soup, organ-shriveling sodium levels and all, but why in tapdancing tit's name are there 2 servings in a single can of soup? Who eats half a can of soup?

Oh man, I feel you on that one. I have no problem not smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol for a week at a time, but going a day without diet Pepsi is killer. AND I drink coffee in the morning, so I'm definitely not wanting for caffeine.

PA isn't Florida, but it's tryin'

This gave me an idea. I will brew a black stout and call it "N-word Lover" People will applaud my hilarity and ingenuity for the rest of my days.

Hey, I live in the DMV and I love me some Raging Bitch. The thought never crossed my mind that it's offensive. Because it's not.

Yes, absolutely! My roommate and I were watching last night and she kept commenting that she had no idea what the everloving fuck was going on. I said the same thing - this season has no plot or focus. It is a weird, random, campy clusterfuck. Which I will continue to watch the shit out of #YOLO

Florida, Alabama, Pennsylvania, and Utah all rolled into one.

"Lena Dunham looks great in her Vogue cover-shoot. But we ALL know that Lena Dunham is a fat ugly troll in real life and could not possibly look this great without heavy Photoshopping - we'll pay you $10K to prove us right!"

That's what I've been thinking since they posted the reward yesterday - did Lena Dunham kick someone at Jezebel's puppy?

I'll pass, thanks.

I love Archer so, so much. If I up and moved to Atlanta today, could I work on the show? I will seriously quit my job this minute and do anything to be a part of it.