Even Dorn from Major League would question that level of commitment.

Ah, the old Upton defense:

I don’t think Yoenis was referring to the ball being under the fence. I’m watching the game with headphones on and while the ball is in flight, you can clearly hear him say, “No way, too high, too high!”

I’m a big fan of Big Shake’s hot chicken and fish, highly recommend it. They have a photo collection on their wall of the participants in the Death Row Challenge (A wings eating contest), and one of the pictures is of a participant with a thousand yard stare getting checked out by paramedics.

“We don’t know where Minor League Guy played last year, but I’m sure he did a helluva job.”

Now Craig, you take this cancer, and you burn it. When you done, you should be butt ass naked. But you take this fucking cancer, go home, and you burn it.

Worst Place to Urinate Outside:

Kobe spoke to the 2 players as well. He gave them the number of a good jeweler.

Her name is the most real thing I've seen all day. That is exactly the name of a person who wouldn't get a joke.

I’ll pledge a dollar if Loretta walks into oncoming traffic on Michigan Ave.

Can fans of the Royals, Indians, Tigers and Twins band together to get Adam LaRoche back on the White Sox roster? I’d donate $10.

“Hey, great win out there.”

Sounds like y’all are saying that Drake’s got enemies, got a lot of enemies. That he’s got a lot of people trying to drain him of his energy.

Boat shoes are excellent. Fingers to the haters.

“With the 29th pick in the 2016 NBA draft, Gregg Popovich personally selects Taurean Prince, Baylor.”

“You might fool the fucks in Newton, but you don’t fool Jesus!”

Man, that’s not Kosher.

Yoenis calls this means of transportation the ‘Sarah Jessica Parker’.