Albert, how can a Midwesterner like myself make salt water that tastes like the ocean? I've never even seen the ocean, much less tasted it. Is it anything like a lake? Trust me, you wouldn't want to cook with that. I got sick from ingesting pond water as a child, so this whole thing sleeves me out, Al. Deadspin is…

Relax. Today is Sunday, you can go back to sleep, junior.

I feel confident my Wisconsin Badgers and their innovative (for the 1950's) offense will not be appearing in this weekly feature at any point, ever.

+1

Those aren't children. Most are zygotes.

Here, you earned this tonight, my friend. +1

Damn you all to hell for making me laugh at that. (+1)

+1

"I think we've found our Sweet Dee." - Network executive casting "It's Always Sunny in Boston"

I love you, Lindy!

You are horrible. That is all.

Oh, well done, sir! I had actual tears, I laughed so hard.

+1

You should look up a good analrapist

Buoyed? I believe you meant DOOMED.

I got it, Carire!

In Wisconsin, where I'm from & live, this is called skinny. WTF is wrong w/ fashion?

Why on earth would you think that? Wait, is this 2004? Carry on then.

You'd need 9 at least

I for one don't want to live in a country where a Lakers fan wearing sunglasses indoors doesn't get punched in the face. Bravo, Punk!