I would pay almost any price to pay-per-view Chris Brown being run over at 220mph.

I can't imagine putting a condom on to get head. I mean, it takes FOREVER to climax from oral stimulation, (your results may vary) and that's without a condom. I'm afraid any poor girl going down with a latex sheath between us would get TMJ before anything else happened. I can honestly say that I don't know anyone,…

/stands and applauds

Can you stop being a pedant? A scab is any non-union worker taking a union worker's job.

After God had finished the rattlesnake, the toad, and the vampire, he had some awful substance left with which he made a scab.

I was gonna write WTF is a Karmin... until I saw the names of the other bands everyone had to choose from. Those made me feel really out of the loop, b/c I haven't heard of a single one of them. Karmin at least I recognize that weird hair-tumor on the singer's forehead from a Gawker post about how awful the SNL music…

I will never understand why people like Morrissey. His voice is awful, like if nails on chalkboard were recorded and played on a tiny speaker that had been shoved up someone's nasal cavity. But worse.

"I absolutely hate horror movies (because NO)" Because why? That's not even a sentence fragment, more like a fragment of a fragment. What do you mean, because no? Is this like a literary device or did something get cut off & the editor didn't catch it? What happened to ruin your horror movie experience? That makes me…

Check out sports-hipster over here! "I'm so over this Packers-Seahawks story..."

Dear Madge,

Lady Gaga looks great. That is all.

read: I don't mind politically themed stories as long they denigrate the other guy.

This.

I note no disputation of the facts laid out in this article, instead quickly changing to attack the black guy. Nice troll

I love the Paul Ryan as the new Kim Jung-Il meme.

Or, you could not read it. Or, apply to be editor of Deadspin instead! Then your opinion on what should and shouldn't be posted might actually matter.

Unbelievable balls on Mitt to damn people who take welfare but praise himself for doing the same thing. Nice work on this, Donald & James. So important people question our leaders, otherwise we remain ignorant. Um, insert dick joke here.

+1 high-heeled boy

I read that & you did a great job writing it up. Thanks for sharing your story.

Yes! Red-hatted staffer is the true star of this video. His slow-mo reaction when coupled with the music is sublime. Speaking of which, nice job, Timothy!