No! You MUST be offended! Get offended!

I've been on the Depo shot for years and haven't had a period in years. So imagine my confusion when I had to buy some this week. I don't know what happened to the kind I used to buy. Nowhere to be found. What is all this shit? Pearl? Radiant? What? I stood there dumbfounded for a good 10 minutes.

So...I get the problem with the monkey and all...but do we really expect celebs (or any tourist) to keep a list of local and endangered critters on hand so when someone approaches you with one you know to shout NO GET THAT ENDANGERED CREATURE AWAY FROM ME I SHALL NOT TAKE A PICTURE WITH ITS ADORABLE AND INCREASINGLY…

Now that's a classy way to celebrate.

Such an old man, believing people should follow the rules until they're changed.

Now THAT'S a good Irish bar.

Oh, horseradish, how I love thee. The best is from the miasarnia in Yonkers. Kielbasa Bill's. Look, here's the thing. My grandmother was Polish, and that neighborhood was all Polish. They helped build St. Kasmirs, for christsake. The Polish Community Center shut down just this past year. The miasarnia is still…

Me, too. You know, as cheap as she looks, her voice is never anything put perfectly rich, and natural, and just...ugh. She kills me. I just love her. She's just beautiful

All hail the queen!

That's awesome.

Thank GOD they procreated!

Ah, Jon and Kate. They were always so tremendously unlikeable. The seething disdain they held for each other oozed from them. You could pretty much taste it. Their poor, poor children.

And Nicholson wasn't there at the time. So it is obviously all his fault.

The trailer for the Marvin Gaye biopic, starring Jesse L. Martin.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I want to be Pink when I grow up.

Especially at that time, when there was even less discussion about things like rape. It was a very different time, which isn't to say what he did wasn't terrible, but obviously it would influence her reaction and her understanding at the time.

Ferrell started "banging on the door viciously." The woman who lived there believed he was a robber, and dialed 911.

What a terrible photo. She looks like she's just had a ton of botox and is trying very hard to muster a wink.

ME TOO. That's what frightened me. I hope LiLo saw it and was also frightened.

Yeah, alcohol abuse at that level will pretty much wreck you in every way possible. The alcohol itself causes bloating but anyone who drinks hard enough be conscious, let alone driving, with a BAC like that must have some other alcohol-related damage. When your liver is damaged from drinking, it can't filter out…