I have never seen Jersey Shore but oddly, I like the J-Wowww video. I have no idea why. I'd like to think I'd defend my body should it be photographed in a less than flattering way. Know your angles, ladies. Maybe it was just the phrase "underwear forever."

Certainly my favorite part.

Oh Neko my love for you only grows.

The "raping and pillaging" thing made me giggle because it made me think of Blazing Saddles.

She can always turn into a puddle of glowing goo when she needs a quick escape.

just thinking...if I had seen an older woman pushing a child in a tshirt in the freezing cold at night on my college campus...i would have found it odd and suspicious. you know. out of place. i would have been concerned about the kid, for sure.

My level of enthusiasm for cooking was evident when, after reading the first couple lines, I thought, fuck that, can't I used canned beans?

Mike Francesa falling asleep was so awesome because that's how we all feel listening to him.

+1000000000000000000000

haaahaha excellent now i will

Wade! Someone make a GIF of his triumphant riding of a police horse around Yankee Stadium please!

Dear Maine,

the way its working here is that people get discounted tickets if they promote via twitter. not if they sit there and tweet the whole time.

EXCUSE ME YOU NEED TO LEAVE MORTAL KOMBAT OUT OF THIS

I sort of like that Becks would get Posh something sort of normal. I mean. They literally have, or could have, everything and anything but who doesn't love some really excellent pjs for Christmas? I always get pjs for Christmas! Okay they're flannel not silk but I'm not exactly Posh here. And I live in VT, it's…

"I always thought I was doing an excellent job staying pure—unlike my friends, I never even had lustful thoughts about boys! Then about two years ago I realized that, whoops, it wasn't because I was so wonderful and pure, it was because I was just really gay."

Thank you. My reaction was the same (also: GREAT. DO IT. Then I sue you and am rich).

though i'd rather no one look at my vag and think, Hitleresque!

Yeah Cosette is not the reason you go see Les Miz, or not go see it! Pee break during her songs. Even a good Cosette is a bad Cosette.

i bet he would have been one of those sad, desperate republicans, long disowned by his own party, yet always hoping the day would come when the party would reform, and he;d be welcomed back...