That's the same face Joe Buck makes when he berates a country club locker room attendant.

If there's a new emphasis on commenting, can I send you an invoice for the hundreds of hours I've spent making dick jokes here? Or should I send it to Denton? Also, what's Gawker Media policy on business expenses? Can I expense the roughly 1800 Yoo-Hoos I've drank since I first commented?

Tony LaRussa tried to order Captain America on Amazon, but they sent him Catwoman instead.

I've built a human being that runs entirely on +1's. It's me. (sad music)

EAST COAST BIAS

"Hey! JaMarcus! Stop! There's six slices missing!"

Mormons and NBA players should get along better. I mean, they both like banging lots of different white women.

When asked for comment, he screamed "fire Neuheisel!"

Jim: I had a giant Arizona Wolf Spider crawl down the driver's sun shade of my Jeep (about a foot in front of my face) while I was in traffic, then fall to the floorboard and disappear while I freaked out and veered across three lanes. Every time I drove the Jeep after that I thought about it, and I finally sold it…

The Packers are wearing their "Racer X" throwbacks.

Starring Trey Schlongo, Piece Davis, Mike Peenburg, Linda Bone and...Scott Van Pelt.

Mr. Show saw this coming years ago.

@America WE COULDN'T CARE LESS FOOTBALL IS ON MAYBE WE'LL NOTICE IN LATE FEBRUARY.

Todd Haley has a boat called "Master Baiter."

Francona will bring Jacoby Ellsbury to the Weiner's Circle with him, just so they can offer neapolitan milkshakes.

Well, Boston made a pretty bad BM this September, so maybe they're used to trying bold flavors. That's the price you pay for living on the edge, you guys.

Considering the Red Sox fanbase, how about Guy Fieri?

So "THIS GUY" jokes are "lazy?" "Lazy" as in not learning players' names so you say THIS GUY?

I had a slice of key lime pie on a trip to Florida in 1987, and since then whenever it's on the menu my mother HAS to point it out to me. I fucking hate key lime pie.

As an Arizonan and someone who's been struck by a rattlesnake, I can say that sucking venom out is useless and actually more dangerous to both parties than leaving it alone.