And they make fun of one guy for not being "manly" enough...while they're all riding a roller coaster together at some goddamn theme park. You know, just like they did during the war!

Leave it to a Unionist to Protest(ant) boobs.

Tens of white Americans would be devastated.

Don't worry AJ. Just put this whole ordeal in your Rearviewmirror.

It's a safe bet Pete is the only Deadspin guest author who successfully* completed an appearance on Showtime at the Apollo.

That's the Dodgers' accounting office.

That looks more like a Cease-and-Desist Outline.

Fine. Now Shaughnessy can never, ever criticize the BCS.

Enough about Eddie Vedder. Do you have any good stories about hanging with Curt Menefee?

Valuev plans to bring the essential Bigfoot hunting tools: beef jerky and a whoopie cushion.

You're a pro surfer and elite triathlete, eh? Well I'm a world famous internet sports comedy writer, and six time winner of the prestigious "gold star" award for dick joke achievement.

I agree with you on the fraud analysis, but I think he could state a claim for conversion. Even though putting the card down was a tacit acknowledgment that Dave would pay for "incidentals," the charges are way beyond the scope of that implied (or possibly express) agreement. Her e-mail in return also supports a…

I'm late to the party, but as an Arizona Wildcat I have to chime in.

Take my VORP, please.

Todd Haley doesn't need to be loved by you either, Brocephus. Your mom already put some Armor All on his Hot Rod if you know what I'm saying. I'm saying your mom's a whore at a car wash. Haley Out.

In order to examine his prostate, they had to go in through his Colin Cowherd.

At least they were dolphin-safe.

Braylon Edwards' DUI, beard, fighting, and general jackassery...Rex Ryan's foot fetish...Mark Sanchez banging high schoolers...Santonio Holmes weed and assault issues...Inez Sainz's Ass...Antonio Cromatie's fertility...