who the actual fuck

jfc this is actually terrifying

Yeah, I’d say the only weird funeral moment I’ve had was witnessing my (generally very stoic) father, visibly ruffled, talking about how his mother looked like some kind of mannequin or doll in her casket. Not funny weird, obviously.

Bless you. You are a goddess.

CHILL POPE IS SO CHILL

Caveat is that my fest buddy/lady friend who brought me along, really, flew out from Boston for this (i.e. mainly Frank), and I think she would cosign. We sort of joked about redubbing it Fuck You Frank Fest, but it worked out quite well. Although it was kinda fucked up for Kanye to start with No Church in the Wild.…

The solid mix of musical styles was one of the reasons why I loved it. But maybe that’s just me. I’m too lazy/old for Coachella, but otherwise would go, so probably.

We pretty much bought our passes because of Frank and thus were initially pissed, but the fest ended up being more than worth it overall. I was stoked that Kanye came through and even more stoked that he put on a good show (I was under the impression that he usually underwhelms performing live). The festival was super…

When I first met my now-boyfriend I vacillated between thinking he looked like Christopher Melloni and Woody Harrelson (incl. tiny occasional lisp, which I happen to find adorable). I kept my mouth shut. Only one of those is definitely a compliment.

Thursday NYT crosswords often involve gimmicks like this—multiple letters in a box, symbols, etc.

considering that the theme of the pink print tour is basically stay in school (and so on), this is very on-brand

seconded & your comment just made me double-take & google to confirm that this is the Sherman Alexie who I was assigned to read in high school English. which it totally is. weird(er than usual) day in Tweet Beat but I ain’t mad.

autocorrect is a menace; for once it is using its powers for good rather than evil

Opening montage to Legally Blonde, 2015 edition.

Sometimes humans are alright.

It wasn’t even a clever double entendre. I was like come on, Roy. A career perv like you has got to have better material than that.

SAUSAGE ON HOOVES

Wow nope tabloid rumormongers can step the fuck off of my bbs Anna and Chris. They are not fair game. They are perfect.

I don’t even care about the typo. that is the funniest goddamn picture I’ve ever seen in my entire goddamn life. Don’t know why, nor do I care.

“I would have liked a spring wedding when it’s not too hot and not too cold.”