How did this man not possess the forearm strength to lift himself out of this predictament.

He will be given a proper masturbator’s funeral. His porn collection will be heaped upon him and set ablaze as he sets sail for Valhalla.

Find yourself someone who looks at you like Lin Manuel Miranda looks at everybody.

I hope he liked your pretty nails! :)

Have fun, be yourself and make sure that you communicate what you’re hoping to get out of it.

Just about time for a new colour. These are my nails with shellac.

remember that while you want to impress him, he should also have to impress you! go get it!

Be yourself.

So, I’ve gone on many dates with a new guy and it’s been....nice. Like really nice. We kissed during our 4th date and he didn’t shove his tongue down my throat.

I did them myself yesterday. I’m pretty good at manicures I think. (I keep them short because long nails are annoying and also mine tend to break off in ugly ways)

I’ve never not bitten my nails so this is a giant success for me. They’re gel, but I’m still super proud.

Zoya Brigitte. The color is prettier than it appears. Also this is after 8 days!

My polish has chipped (since Monday) but I love the color. It’s a purple-y metallic.

I have one Rodan + Fields, several Thrive, a couple of Lularoe, and I think some essential oil people on my feed. I just roll my eyes and scroll on.

Remember that you’re hot and he has just as much reason to be excited and nervous as you.

Have fun. Be yourself. You are the ladymaster of this new chapter in your life.

I booked a trip to Florence and the Naples area in Italy! I’m so excited! I’ve never been. My husband is excited about the food, especially gelato, I am so excited about the art! I definitely plan to go to the Uffizi Gallery, and the Brancacci Chapel so I can prove what I’ve been saying since History of Western Art 1,…

I quit my soul-crushing job last week and I’m moving far, far away next month. Excited about a new beginning.

I’m just trying to keep food in me :/

I’m stress eating. Who else is?