This was, indeed, needlessly pedantic. It’s understood that when people say “the right to drive” that the mean the ability to earn the privilege of driving.

“It’s about damn time!”    *said in deep voice*

I’m starting to suspect that this alleged rapist may not like powerful women.

Next we’re gonna learn that the UK and America’s intelligence work together!

Old joke: How do you know the CIA didn’t kill JFK? A: He’s dead, isn’t he?

Excuse me old chap, but he’s currently in Britain, so MI5/6 get first dibs on any ‘unfortunateness’ involving him accidentally slipping on a bar of soap at the top of a steep flight of steps before falling onto a poisoned man-eating tiger whilst in possession of an Australian accent.

MERKEL: We have worked very closely together, for example, in Afghanistan. We’re continuing to do so. I’m very pleased that this military engagement, together with a political road map that we’ve developed, we were able to continue. We want to bring about a political solution there.

Someone in the Ecuadorian embassy really needs to take one for the entire global team and pull the fucking fire alarm. Then bar him from re-entry, like “you’re on your own now, suckerrrrrrr!”

Wikileaks claims that the documents show “close collaboration” between the NSA and the BND, Germany’s foreign intelligence agency, a revelation that is not entirely new.

I’m shocked!! Not only is the target the leader of another democracy, it’s also a woman!!! Shocked!

His friends have said he’s fully aware of what he’s doing in terms of where his information/leaks are coming from; this is supposedly all a desperate Hail-Mary on his part to destabilize enough nations that want him so he can simply slip out of the Embassy and retire to some quiet corner of the world in the ensuing…

This is my surprised face:

Dear CIA,

Stop trying to make “alt-left” happen, it’s never going to happen

Julian Assange. No one wants to go out with you. So you can go dress up your cat now.

I guess the trick is for you to find someone that enjoys doing it but doesn’t like receiving it. I’m sure that person exists out there, you know, there’s a lid for every pot and all that.

Yes. His apologists of course will never admit that. He’s merely a pawn that is being used to cause chaos in countries that Putin views as a threat. And that is what history will remember him as: a tool.

So can we all just admit at this point that Assange is just Putin’s tool to wreck democracy?

Man, Assange has made himself into such a douche that I am now pro-government spying and anti-transparency. I’ve been mailing transcripts of all my phone calls to the NSA just to give them a head start; not sure about the cease and desist letter I just got but I think they’re playing hard to get.

“I know more about ass eating than the generals, believe me!”