Serta I-Comfort is where it's at. Wife and I love it. She like soft, I like firm, but we both LOVE this mattress. 10 year warranty. http://www.serta.com/buy-mattress/i…

No, I'm not a Serta guy nor do I know shit about beds. I just know I love this mattress.

Gump gonna Gump.

When it comes to womanizing pussy hounds, it doesn't matter if they're Beverly Hills rich or Trailer Park poor, they're still white trash pieces of S.

It's the cheapest 6 pack at Publix and different grocery stores around Alabama. When you're facing off against Natty Light in price wars, you're going to win a lot. Maybe that's why sales have increased.
Plus, the old school bottle looks cool and makes me feel more like a man.

Serial Philandering saddens me deeply. I can't relate to it really. Between my wife and pornhub, ain't nobody got time for that.

I don't understand the hype over big butts. I like them a lot myself, visually. In reality, do you really want that big of an ass when it comes to sexing a chick?
The chances of that big of an ass being cleaned properly on a consistent basis are way lower than that of a smaller assed person.
The overall smell would…

Whoever put "This is not a drill" in the tweet is an asshole. Clarifying it again in the second tweet makes you a bigger asshole.

Delete. God, I'm stupid.

Delete. God, I'm stupid.

This. Aveeno Therapeutic or Sensitive, basically any of the Aveeno gets the job done perfectly. Cheap too. I was going to not say anything bc using it makes me kinda feel like a pussy. Until I saw all the other suggestions. Holy shit, what a bunch of man-bun sporting tucked goober nancy boys.

This. Aveeno Therapeutic or Sensitive, basically any of the Aveeno gets the job done perfectly. Cheap too. I was…

I been meaning to tell you about your scrambled eggs article. It has changed my life. It reminded me that my Grandma always scrambled eggs the way you described. So every morning nowadays, I beat the shit out of them until my hand is seizing up before pouring them into a low-medium skillet. Best eggs ever. Nothing…

Somebody at Cheap Shots must've been in business for new homeowner's insurance when they ran into this relic from the past. Detmer. Double Detmers. eeesh.

I think he does it because me and a ton of other shitbags that loiter around here fucking LOVE it.

You could've saved us the trouble and took a GD picture of each painstaking step in the process like chicks do for the recipes on Pinterest.
You go to print the recipe out and the printer craps on itself because some stupid bitch has taken HD 1080p quality photos of her cracking an egg over tomato sauce in lieu of…