"Sorry about the boner sir. I'm just a really big Pats fan."

Mike Tirico: Kid's got what it takes. A lot of sports reporters feel before they think.

What makes you think that you, someone who is not a member of law enforcement, has any idea about what is going on in the case? I'll take my answer off the air, thanks!

Condense that to Mr. Dense please.

It took the hospital 8 hours to officially pronounce him dead because he was so good at flopping.

In Simmons' defense, he lobbied for "NBAholes," but the Mouse wouldn't let that fly.

I am able to stare at the flapping Bill Simmons GIF for a really, really long time.

I just got outta rehab and I'm still in the grays, but Johnny Fuckin' Football goes straight to the Browns? Not cool.

Geno Smith's definitely going to get reinstated. There's no way he loses a guy with so many pro-level picks.

It's some kind of medieval ass-kicking machine?

They want the right anthem? They're lucky I didn't give them smallpox.

Boy, I bet his face sure is red.

Jenkins testified that she had previously seen a gun in a "junk drawer" at her and Hernandez's house, and later noticed that it had been moved after she gave Hernandez a "stern look" expressing her displeasure with the gun's location.

"OKC Medical Staff, you the real MVP"

This isn't the first time nancy kerrigan is gonna take one in the caps.

If he's worked at Syracuse, he'd be Fine.

She makes Debbie Harry look good.

Interesting tribute to Mark Prior's arm.

Police also arrested Ford on 36 outstanding charges of stealing bases.

Hey Captain! Open up! We've got to install these microwave ovens!