We live in the most extra of timelines.

People who complain about “PC culture” are just angry that they can’t be out loud bigots anymore without consequences.

I’m just not sure that there are enough armed cops at that obviously volatile event.

three weeks ago didn’t know the three branches of government

She’s not going to date you, Don. Give it a rest.

Also, Maryann should be more concerned about her church’s record of molestation.

Somebody never went to a Catholic school

Why the heck is someone’s mom writing for the student paper?  

congrats to us for knowing HOW BRAS WORK 

“After the two girls got into a fight about cigarettes and abused an elderly lady.”

A friend of mine just posted on FB about how her 14-year-old daughter just had a boy text her a dick pic.

When I was little, I would rub a small amount of toothpaste on my tongue to beat the breath smell test, and it worked. There were layers and thought put into the lie.

If that's the case, then why were parents paying other people to either take the SAT or change the answers afterward? Why were they hiring other people to write the entrance essays? Why were the parents paying someone else to fill out the college applications that their own kid didn't even complete?

I’m guessing Singer and a few of the people at the colleges he paid bribes to will go to jail. I’m guessing none of the rich parents will go to jail, not even the ones who also committed tax fraud with their fake charities/donations while a part of this. They’ll pay fines which will seem like a lot to us, but not…

I’m struggling between “don’t feed trolls” and “everyone needs to see this"

I’m screaming! He tried it. 

Congratulations on leaving what is easily the most deranged comment I’ve ever received in my year of working at Jezebel lol. 

It doesn’t matter what size your labia is with this outfit. It matters whether you plan to move your legs more than one millimeter apart while wearing it. Because if your legs move, your labia move, and that bodysuit will end up cutting you in half in a way that is so painful that, you, being a man - can’t even…

I can’t be the only one relieved not to find myself in there.