Emmitt Smith thinks that guy is uninterrible.

But they're dancing, which means they must be, like, totally hip. I, as a key 18-24 year old, will totally buy some of, like, the sponsors' products now!

@Facebones: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Hello, Dr. Galea?? I... Yes, yes, and it's really bad this time!

Say what you want, but this truly is a scandal worth reporting. Why didn't these NFL players go to a good ol' American doctor, huh???

You'd be tired too if you'd spent the previous night with Roger Clemens.

The male half of that couple, a part-time MMA fighter, took exception, which he expressed via fists

Some guys will do anything to get around shelling out for Pay Per View.

Cavaliers Go Out With A Whimper...

Man Saves Beached Whale While Golfing, Avoids Obvious Seinfeld Quotes

Sid's best human on skates cred would be taking a serious beating right now if

Is this the NBA where trash talk is allowed by a bunch of thugs?

Is that a box of Hi-C in the corner? Peter King is going to be so pissed.

@SponsoredbyV8: About 3 installments before it ends.

@Thirsty Squirrel: I should probably say that denture cleaner is mostly preventative, and not really going to scrape off years of crust build-up that really requires the world's tiniest jackhammer to remove. At the least, it'll taste nice when you put it back in your mouth, but if you buy a new mouthguard and start…

Making both teams travel wouldn't be very green.

@PregameFlyover: I have the same issue, but I'll do it in the middle of a conversation with someone. I'll go to scratch the back of my neck or something, find a little zit there, and start squeezing and picking at it. Then I realize I'm still talking to someone, and pulling my hand away from my neck to wipe zit juice…

Buy denture cleaner and just leave your mouthguard in there all day. Fill a cup of water; open packet; drop in fizzle thingy; drop in mouthguard. Done.

Other Things They Do In The i09, Apparently:

"IR...FU" was what my friends told me I was chanting to myself as I was wandering the streets of State College, drunk and inexplicably angry at their win over Temple.