Is there no gay man at the AV Club who could write an article about queer casting in the only movie my gay ass has been excited about since 1997? I feel like I just ran into Lena Dunham in the bathroom at a gay bar. Artie could be the love child of Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather and he still wouldn’t be as…

*whisper whisper*
“Didn’t he save any of that Wonder Years money?”

Right. I for one am not excited about the “Back To the Future” prequel in which we learn that Biff was actually a performance artist who, through the medium of bullying, was working to deconstruct the patriarchy.

What’s the number?

one of the pitfalls of loving the kind of music I do leaves me utterly and perpetually unschooled in anything not written by a dead german dude or dead harlem junkie.

Exactly. I looked for her on Ask Jeeves, and got zero results. 

Negrodamus, why is President Bush convinced there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?

I’m trying to wrap my head around the sight of Prince and Sinead O’Connor involved in a foot chase through L.A. in the middle of the night and NOT have “Yakety Sax” play in my head when I do.

I heard it was uncut.

The George Costanza Defense.

It’s...not that bold.

Urkel needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine.
Whenever Urkel is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking “Where’s Urkel?”

Wait, what?

I mean he didn’t do that...the writers / showrunners did.

In their defense, he did do that.

Number 3 is going to shock Winston Churchill...

Good luck with that. Did you see what those scumbags in Philly did in order to make him apologize for one bad review??

“since it’s been telling stories about hero cops who always get the bad guys and hero prosecutors who always find the right way to lock them up for 30 years”

I love that cowboy almost stoically shooting the cigar store Indian.